It's Beautiful!

I apologize for my nonsensicalness last night. I was sleepy. Today was wonderful. I have two friends and they are amazing. Quality over quantity any day. So I have spent pretty much all day with these suckers.

Stake Conference was this morning. So for the non-Mormons out there it is where a bunch of congregations get together and have a big meeting. The last speaker started his talk and, holy shock and amazement, the talk was on chastity and marriage. The talk went on for 45 minutes and we got really annoyed and left 5 minutes early. Marilyn brought up a great point when we were leaving. So in the Mormon faith we are taught not to have sex before marriage and not to do anything that will bring on the feelings that come along with that. Now our parents and all the people who tend to teach this got married at about 21 and have no idea how hard this is being say, 30. It just isn't effective now to tell us not to do these things, because

insert Marilyn rant: "we are pissed that the dumb girls who got married at 20 get to satisfy their base, human urges, and we don't. Really they should just tell us that they have no idea what it must be like to deny your desire to be close to someone, but it must be shitty, so we are freaking sorry about that, but it's the rules. Seriously, I want to keep the commandments, I just want them to realize that it's insanely difficult to do. I also don't want to hear any more about how it's the special bond between two people, because married people are doing the same thing I would do with the random guy I met at a party--satisfying their need to be with someone. Not that marriage isn't special, but let's call sex what it is. And don't even get me started on the boner remorse Mormon guys feel after they make out with a girl and then can't handle their feelings because no one taught them what to do when their naughty bits react, so clearly the logical thing is to run like she's the she-devil incarnate of Potiphar's Wife.  This, of course, make us feel like shit, because now we are the Mormon version of a one night stand. Seriously, can someone tell these guys that it's totally normal to get turned on while making out with me and that they don't need to repent just because of a little boner (I may be making assumptions on the little part)."

And back to Mesh: The Book of Mormon musical has a great song for this called "Turn it off." Effective, cause that doesn't screw you up.

As you can see Marilyn and Keri had a rough week so, we all got together to do dinner. It was beautiful. Such a weekend called for making the caprese Naan, Balsamic Vinegar marinated chicken, couscous, and the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice.  Jesus even approved of our ingredient selection.

I have had this request from Marilyn for quite sometime to make this recipe for salted caramel chocolate cake. So that happened. The rest of dinner was amazing as well, but dessert was the best.

Dinner:

First thing we did was to prepare the chicken.
In a 2 quart dish combine:

Balsamic vinegar
Vinegar
Salt
Honey
Lemon Juice
Garlic

Just stir it all together, most of it will be the Balsamic Vinegar. Marinate that chicken and refrigerate for at least 30 min.

While that was refrigerating we started the cake, dearest, loveliest cake. After a talk about chastity it's about as sexy as we were going to get.

The first thing the recipe has us make is the frosting. This frosting just consisted of 2 ingredients. 1lb of chopped up bittersweet chocolate and 2 cups of heavy cream. Best recipe ever.

Sexy apron, thanks Mom, makes me look real good chopping that chocolate

boil heavy cream and pour over the chocolate, stir.

This is what is turns into

Then you do good things and make some salted caramel.

So beautiful and bubbly

add butter, it's done, let cool

Then you start to actually make the cake. Good times.

Look how pretty the ingredients look

Follow the recipe, then it looks like this

We may or may not have made extra caramel to drizzle on top. This stuff is also comparable to the Starbucks carmel and deserves to be stored and enjoyed at all walks of life.

After the cake was finished we made the rest of the dinner. To finish the chicken we cooked it in the a pan with a little olive oil. While it was cooking I sprinkled the chicken with sesame seeds. 

Dinner was served with some sparkling cider. Good stuff. 

Overall, here is what I learned today. It is really hard to be a single 30 year old Mormon. My friends are amazing. My dogs are good for snuggles. If you squeeze Harold he growls. 

As far as the single thing goes. I just hope to find someone I can share my daily life with who cares about what really happens to me and who will just spoon with me whenever I need it. Until I find that, I'm content to be single even though it is hard.

Suck it.

Paranoia+little sleep= bad things in my head

My brain won't go to sleep, so this is what you get. Harold is trying to get my attention by licking the keyboard and my hand. This would have been cuter before he killed and ate a bird. Puppy kisses just don't have the same affect as they used to.

For some reason my life is kind of amazing right now. Whenever it gets to this point I get a little anxious. I start to doubt everything I do and then I get all paranoid. Granted, it is not perfect, but amazing.

One thing that has come up into my life and I feel as if it will happen again is the gaping hole called the "Friend Zone."

So, I have troubles when I start talking to guys that they automatically assume we are friends. So, so many times this has happened. I don't mind having friends. I have friends. Two. I just want someone to want me as more than just friends. I will have to find sound advice on this because so far I just sprint into the zone and wait in there.

What typically happens in my poor excuses for a love life is that I will develop a crush (love that feeling). Then I will hang out with this person. We will start doing all sorts of things together, I fall in like, I tell him that I would like to date him, he says he "doesn't think of me that way," I cry (I'm not weak, I'm human), I grow strong and get over it and the vicious cycle starts back up again. I would love to stop.

This current guy I'm talking to I would love to keep out of that zone. I was even thinking about getting a T-shirt that says so. You can get one here . Thank you zazzle.

There has to be some kind of repellant for that. In the mean time, I will just wait and see what happens.

I was with him the other night and he called me by my name. My full name. Meshelle. NO one does that. Mainly it is because everyone butchers my name except for my family. I love my name, I just want it said right. He said it right and boy does it sound right in an accent. (if for some reason you found my blog and are now embarrassed because you are reading about yourself, sorry about that) It totally caught me off guard and I think I had a really shocked look on my face because he asked about what I go by. (if again you have found my blog, please feel free to call me by my full name, it's great to hear) Every man should have an accent.

One thing that has made my life amazing in the last little bit is the wonderful joy of new found fun. This fun has come in the form of working at a salon. I work just  about 10 hours a week and still full-time teaching. I love it. I love to get my hands in there and have fun. I have only worked for one week, but I absolutely love it. I work with the best team in the world.

Well, that's enough. I am tired now and I think my brain will shut off for just a few moments in order for me to sleep.

I made dinner last night.

Seared Chicken with Avocado

(I couldn't take a picture of what I did because I had company over, but this is a picture of the same recipe)
(ps this cookbook is amazing)

11/2 tsp. blackened seasoning
4 (4 oz.) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 tsp. olive oil
1 diced peeled avocado
2 Tbsp. chopped fresh cilantro
1 jalapeño pepper, seeded and finely chopped
2 Tbsp. fresh lime juice (about 1 lime)
1/4 tsp. salt
1 lime cut into fourths

Sprinkle seasoning on both sides of chicken. Heat oil on high. Add chicken to pan. Cook 1 min on each side. Reduce heat to medium; cook 3 min. on each side or until lightly browned.

Combine, avocado, cilantro, pepper, lime juice and salt. Squeeze lime over each piece of chicken before serving. Serve with avocado mixture. I also served it with zucchini and couscous.

Word to the wise: When stabbing the pit of an avocado to get it out, do not stab like you are trying to hurt someone. Stab flat. I may or may not have severed a nerve and/or stabbed the bone of my middle finger while taking the pit from an avocado the other day. I still don't have the feeling back in it and when I press on my tiny wound it sends tingles up my finger. No worries, those things grow back right? Good times.

Suck it.

When it rains, it pours

So, a while back I started a new journey into dating. I have this strong sense to be a mother and have an eternal family and all that good stuff, so I decided to try new things. The new things I decided to do was come out of my shell as a hermit and hang out, then to start my own online dating profile. Oh joy.

My previous view of online dating was a last resort to being totally alone and miserable. I hit the bottom, yea. Well, after months of sending messages to random strangers in hopes of bliss, I get nothing. At this point I have started to question myself. Am I doomed to forever being single? Crap.

Last week I was starting to feel really good about myself. I didn't care to really date at this point in my life, if it happens, it happens. If not, I have puppies. I went to a pot luck dinner. Now if you are not Mormon, this is pretty much our equivalent to a Kegger, except the abundance of beer is replaced with an abundance of food. My goal was to at least be social, so I talked to people and mingled. At some points I was completely disgusted by the desperate ploys to catch a mate that took the form of  bad dancing and really bad karaoke. Good times, now you know why we are all really weird.

At this pot luck I was talking to a good friend and the whole time he was checking out my chest. It was like I had grown a separate set of lips and they were blowing raspberries for attention. Now under normal circumstances I would have felt a little awkward about this, but whatever, good times. It just made me giggle. After a while of this I moved on and was about to leave the wonderful situation when some new guy to our group of peeps started talking to me. He was cute. And he talked to me for like 20 minutes without checking out my boobs. Or rather, without me catching him.

I was feeling pretty good about myself. The next day I went to a hair show. At this hair show I met up with an acquaintance that I hadn't seen for about 6 months. This acquaintance is a very, very hot man. Like makes me stumble on my words so hot. We got to talking and he asked me for my number. What?!? That actually happens?

The next morning he sent me a text message, then asked me out. What?!? That actually happens? So, we went on a date. Yes, first one in years, I know pathetic. In my defense I came off a really abusive relationship that kind of scarred me for life. All in all the date was good. We talked about life, work, whatever. It was like a normal conversation.This man was clearly not LDS. Conversations that are normal usually constitute a marriage proposal or them running for their life. It was really my first date with a Gentile. Would I go out with him again? Heck yes! Flirt to convert! This date was clearly a work date, but whatever, I'll take whatever I can get.

All of this escalating in my dating life had me feeling kind of amazing. So when I got this message from a new match on eHarmony I was kind of excited. He told me I was a "hot mama jama." He messaged me like 3 times and told me how beautiful I was and such. Now, my friend Marilyn and I share our fabulous stories of online dating and she was sharing with me the night before. I thought this guy looked familiar so I asked her if he was a one of her matches with LDS Singles. Turns out he was and was chatting her up as well. She sent him a message today about how he was talking to one of her friends. He then suggested to her that we have a threesome. Yup, a threesome. These guys that we are trying to date are supposed to be upstanding LDS men. Right.

I am good to be single for now.

So now it comes to dinner.


Pecan Crusted Salmon with Oven Roasted Asparagus and Mozzarella and Basil Tortilla

This is my first time making my own recipe and it kind of worked well.

Pecan Crusted Salmon

In a small bowl, mix together:

3 Tbs. Honey
1 Tbs. BBQ Sauce
1 Tbs. Dijion Mustard
1/8 tsp. ground cinnamon

Spread over 2 salmon fillets placed on an oiled piece of tin foil and cookie sheet.

Using a chopper, chop together:

3/4 C. Pecans
1/2 tsp. olive oil
1/2 tsp. Kosher salt

Spread over the salmon fillets creating an amazing crust

Bake at 400 for about 10 min.


Oven Roasted Asparagus

Take a bunch of Asparagus, on a cookie sheet toss with olive oil and Kosher salt

Bake at 400 for about 8 min.

Mozzarella and Basil Tortilla

I purchase the tortillas that you have to cook because, let's face it, they use less ingredients and are amazing.

Cook the tortilla, put some mozzarella and fresh basil inside and cook on both sides.


Voila dinner.

I know some of you are thinking that I should have rice instead of tortilla with fish, but I was craving the tortilla. When you make it you can serve it with whatever you choose.

Enjoy.

Suck it.